From the Coast of Barcelona

Its cherry season somewhere! Everywhere I turn there are piles of them, and for 3E a kilo I have been gorging myself.

I am exhausted, time is running together and my memory, which is normally unusually sharp, is hazy. So I went to Greece to do some work with a massive powerboat, and regretted it from the second that I took the job. When I got onboard in Monaco I was plunged headfirst into crazy drama, like the stew who was shagging the owner, cleaning coke baggies out of cabins used by hookers on the last charter, and the entire crew being wound so tight that I was actually told off for being too friendly. All in all, not the kind of environment I want to spend 24/7 in. Luckily though, it was only temporary work (I think I am really onto something there!) and I left Greece the day before yesterday. It’s a shame I didn’t get to see a bit more of Corfu before I flew out, but what I did see was beautiful. It’s the first country I have ever been to where I couldn’t even understand the alphabet! So for the last few nights I have been going out until late late late and I have been up before 5am every morning to rush to another airport or ferry terminal or train station and wait in more lines. It’s all worth it though, since I am on my way to Ibiza for a weeklong yoga retreat! Oh man I need this so badly, I am so excited! I get to stay in a tepee in a pine forest by the beach, be fed organic, vegetarian meals twice a day, breathe, meditate and practice yoga for hours all on a little island in the middle of the Med. This is it, for the last 7 weeks I have lived on mega yachts, getting no exercise whatsoever with a crew mess stocked full of chocolates and a chef cooking all my meals. This week in Ibiza will be my detox from that life, and my start of feeling good again!

Onto the next thing!

Two days ago I was in Viareggio on a late night bicycle adventure with some random hot man I met in a bar. 24 hours ago I was in Rome, staying in the fanciest hotel room I have ever been in before and pulling an (almost) all-nighter out dancing at clubs with a bunch of strangers. Now I am in Monaco on a brand new boat with a brand new crew, getting ready to leave early in the morning for a charter in Corfu, Greece.

Stability is overrated. My life sure does change quick, and I absolutely love it.

Its my first time in France, I had only ever been to the airport in Paris before and that does not really count. Today flying from Rome to Nice I realized how good at traveling I have become. I can easily carry everything I own, the cumbersome and useless things have gradually been weeded out and dropped along the wayside... I know my way around airports and train stations and can pretty much communicate my basic needs in Italian, Spanish and French. I dont want to sound like I am bragging too much, but its just funny to think about the girl I was four years ago when I first left home to travel. I was completely clueless on how the rest of the world worked! I remember when I first went to Italy in 2006 to study I was amazed at how different everything was from my home; how people lived in smaller houses with less things, how some drove tiny cars and most rode bikes and how you couldnt just walk into a shop at 3am and buy whatever you wanted. Last night we were in a bar in Rome completely packed with young, drunk, American university students, celebrating the end of their studies. I had to laugh, it was like looking back in time! Funny though, as an American I have gotten SO much shit about my nationality in the last few years, and although we as a culture have many faults for sure, we are also just about the friendliest people you can find. You can walk up to a group of Americans, it does not matter their age or gender and simply say "Hi" and be instantly welcomed into the conversation! I love that about Americans.

But now I am utterly exhausted, and although this charter will be good money and a chance to see Greece (even if it is just the view from the porthole) I am not looking forward to it. Very high standard of service on this boat, just about the highest you can get actually, and this week is going to be very full on. The one very good thing about it though, is it puts off me making any real life decisions for another 10 days or so!

23 Years Old

Where in the world did the last year go? The last ten?! Honestly it feels like a very short time ago that I had just turned 13 and was a teenager at last, and now I am in my twenties! Jeez. I know its stupid but I am almost feeling old! The last three years especially have just flown by... 23, me?! Are you sure?

It was such a lovely, mellow birthday. A long stroll down the sunny boardwalk in Viareggio with a girlfriend of mine, window shopping and people watching and eating gelato. Then a drive up into the mountains surrounding this little coastal town with a few friends, exploring the countryside in the tiniest little car I have ever seen! We found this amazing old village about halfway to Florence that had an amazing farmers market, fresh cheeses and meats and all sorts of veggies, cakes and cookies and roasting nuts... We got a table in the Piazza and drank a few coffees and a few glasses of vino, just laughing and watching the world go by. All in all, not a bad day at all.

In three days I will not have smoked in one year. I am so proud of myself, I followed through with it and did not cheat once, no matter how badly I wanted one. It was the first time I have really set my mind to doing something that was going to be that difficult, and now that I have gone a year, I have proved to myself that with a little willpower I can really do anything!

Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me...

Viareggio

Its such a funny feeling arriving in a foreign country by boat rather than by plane.

I mean when you pack your suitcase, go to the airport, pass through security and strap yourself into am airplane you are expecting to touch down somewhere new in a short amount of time. However, what takes a plane seven hours took us 15 days, and since we were moving (relative to an airplane) quite slow I was not really thinking about the destination, only focusing on the journey. I am in Europe now, not the Caribbean! No, it has not hit me quite yet.

The weather here though is absolutely dreadful! The last night at sea a random gale picked up out of nowhere and it was blowing 30 knots right on our bow. Big waves were washing over the decks, and the next morning when we docked in Viareggio there were dozens of little Portuguese Man of War jellyfish ALL over the boat! We all had to be very careful where we stepped, not knowing how long they retain their deadly stings after they die! Its been raining non stop, and to tell you the truth I am almost missing the sun and bright blue waters of the Caribbean. Change is good though.

However I don’t have too much time to sit and dwell on life changes or much else for that matter, we arrived and went straight into overdrive getting the boat ready to pull out of the water. This marina we are in is the shipyard where hundreds of famous yachts are built every year, and everywhere there are shipwrights and designers and fabricators of every sort. All smoking and blabbering in Italian of course! I am exhausted and need a morning off so I can sleep in as long as I want, maybe an afternoon away from the boat to recharge my batteries, but no rest until this weekend!

I just finished my workday and am off to go for a run along the seafront... and then if I feel particularly courageous I might even attempt a Yoga class in Italian. We'll see!

There is already a gaping hole in my chest where my heart was ripped out,

the question is, Why do I feel the need to rub salt in it? How much worse could this feel?

Free!

Passed through the Straights of Gibraltar last night along with about a thousand fishing boats and container ships. Pretty incredible really, on one side you are looking at the hazy lights of Africa, the other Europe. My watch is done at 12am, but I stayed up nearly all night sitting up on the fly bridge listening to hundreds of random people speaking dozens of languages on the VHF, imagining all of the boats that have sailed these waters before me. Thousands of years ago, millions of different kinds of people! It was the same feeling I had while walking down the cobblestone streets in Florence, Italy. Just knowing that my feet were taking the same steps that people like Michelangelo took. Now, I have also sailed with the same winds that filled the sails of Columbus and Magellan, Odysseus on his mythical voyage, and the legendary sailors of Phoenicia. Pseudo – profound thoughts after spending too much time at sea, but like I said, pretty incredible!

Now my second Atlantic crossing is almost over, and I still cant believe how different it is from my first. This time I almost don’t want it to end! Being at sea is so peaceful; the whole world is your boat, and the people on it and endless miles of blue desert. Two weeks ago in St.Martin I had no clue of what to do with myself, no idea what to do next. But then I went to sea, and there was no hurry to get anywhere, no need to have a plan really, just sailing on a big beautiful boat towards the Mediterranean Sea. The closer to Italy I get, however, the more I have to think about the next steps, where to stay in Viareggio while the boat is hauled out in the yard? Where next? Palma de Mallorca? Antibes? San Tropez? Monaco? It is an absolutely amazing feeling, having this many options in life. For the first time I am really on my own out in the world and the only thing that matters is what I want. Realizing that I feel free.